Former NRL hard-man James Graham has admitted the consequences of concussion stemming from his lengthy rugby league career was at one point "something worth dying for."
Graham has had a long-documented relationship with head knocks, not least for his controversial stance on the issue which made him one of the most outspoken figures within the game on the topic.
Amid the code's growing concern, Graham once said: "It's my life, I'll do what I want to … well, within certain realms. What's the alternative? I kind of like what I'm doing. The consequences of that are sometimes you get hit on the head.
"You've got to go and play Oztag if you don't fancy playing league anymore."
However, speaking in light of recent instances of concussion across the league over the weekend – which has pitted Roosters veteran Jake Friend in a fight for his career – Graham conceded his once off-handed stance was all part of an image he was trying to portray at the time.
"I think it was well-documented that I said some things which were potentially me trying to portray that image of who I needed to be," the Englishman told Fox Sports' NRL 360.
"That was my public persona and part of that was about having a reputation on the field as a guy who didn't really care. Wanting to be that guy and wanting to be feared.
"As I went on that journey I asked the doctors some questions about the risks and then I asked myself some questions. And was I going to privilege the present over the future?
"It's a very complex issue. And I had to do some really deep thinking about what I wanted to do and what were the consequences of me hanging up the boots because of concussion or the potential for future brain diseases.
"Where was the purpose going to be filled in my life? I personally felt like I needed a cause. I thought about what's the meaning of life. Maybe for me, finding the meaning of life was finding something worth dying for."
In 2019, Graham became the first active rugby league player to agree to donate his brain to science in a bid to help further research into concussion.
"I guess when I die my brain and spinal cord, if I'm in Sydney, will be going to the Sydney University for them to look at, examine and hopefully some good can come of this," Graham said at the time.
"I think the more players of all codes can sign up, it can only lead to more research being done and figuring out the answers of what is a very tricky and complex situation.
"Now that it's out there, now that it's confirmed they've found CTE in some former NRL players, it brings the talk about concussion back to the table."
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