Recalled star's 'worst year of my career' admission

Cronulla Sharks prop Toby Rudolf has opened up on his axing from the side, revealing he's considered giving up his sobriety commitment.

Before the season started as Rudolf battled a chronic toe injury, the 28-year-old said he was giving up alcohol for a year to try and get back to his best. Albeit, with a three-time clause.

Despite the Sharks sitting in fourth place, the season hasn't exactly panned out for Rudolf, describing it as "the worst year of my career" after he was dropped following a round 17 loss to the Bulldogs.

READ MORE: Dutch accuse VAR of 'breaking football' in Euros defeat

READ MORE: Fatty's brutal truth for 'slack' million-dollar man

READ MORE: 'Ain't the cash cow': Mundine's verdict on hyped NRL exile

The prop was then back in NSW Cup, playing for Newtown at Henson Park and helping the Jets defeat Western Suburbs.

Now with injuries and a quality performance in reserve grade, Rudolf has been named on the bench for the Sharks' clash with the Tigers and revealed an "honest conversation" was had with coach Craig Fitzgibbon after the tough call. 

"He just said where I have been in the past and where I'm currently at, there's too big a gap," Rudolf said from Henson Park at the launch of the Beer, Footy and Food Festival.

"He went through where I was a bit low on energy, my output in the years gone by has been a lot higher than in recent weeks, questioned my off-field habits and a few things I probably needed to be questioned on to be honest.

"Fitzy won't ever have a hidden agenda, he'll tell you exactly how it is and there's no better coach in the game for that sort of thing.

"We had an honest conversation, I came out here (Henson Park) and had a decent game and there's been a couple injuries as well after the Titans game. It was obviously a bit of a stinger, no one wants to be told they're not where they think they are."

Watch the 2024 NRL premiership live and free on Nine and 9Now.

Those off-field habits, Rudolf explained would stay between him and Fitzgibbon.

However, the prop did state "over-thinking" has been damaging for his game and the consideration to stop his no drinking commitment has been a real possibility.

"The no drinking thing is something where you need to let a bit of steam off, sometimes it gets monotonous, footy, it's one of my great loves of life and something I hold so dear to my heart, sometimes you just need to have a break from it," he said.

"I was getting a bit too in my own head as well, we were having a few chats about that.

"I was over-thinking a lot of things and the fitness hasn't been where it has been and I couldn't figure out why.

"I missed out on the pre-season but at this stage you should be able to make that time back up. All these things I've been over-thinking too much and he just told me to simplify things and go out and play and that's what I did on the weekend.

"… I said before the start of the year, if I had the worst year of my career, which so far it has been, I was just going to get blind halfway through the year but I wanted to stick through it and see if it made me feel better.

"The one thing it has done, I had a chronic toe injury that nearly sidelined me for the rest of my career, right now the toe is going really good so I definitely feel like staying off the piss has aided me in a certain way for sure and I've still had a couple of drinks with the team and we've got quite close over it so in terms of the rest of the year I might have one drink in Townsville or here, depending where I'm playing and that'll be it for the season.

"The back end of the season most of the NRL is pulling their heads in and getting ready for finals footy and I'll be doing the same."

With his admission of over-thinking in mind, Rudolf's memory for specific moments in games is obvious.

He claims he "single-handedly lost us the game" in that Bulldogs match.

The first try to Viliame Kikau he put down to a "muck up" in defence between him and Braydon Trindall. His marker defence was exploite for Reed Mahoney's four-pointer and then Matt Burton's penalty goal came from his discipline. 

"That was 14 points directly related to me," he conceded.

However, from his conversations with Fitzgibbon, Rudolf knows that's not the sole reason he was dropped as he searches for the consistency that'll make him a starting front rower again. 

"My process is if I have a game like that … I give myself about 24 to 48 hours of feeling like rubbish, like I've let the world down and then I walk in on Monday at training and there's no point carrying all this baggage … you're always trying to improve, always trying to get better," he said.

"I chat a lot to James Maloney, doing a podcast with him at the moment, The Journeymen, and the biggest thing for him was he was a goldfish, he was one that would throw a cut out intercept pass and then behind the line he'd be blowing up at his forwards for not making tackles so that's something I'm trying to adopt as well.

"You've got to let yourself feel the emotion of letting yourself and the team down for a certain part of the week or hours directly afterwards but then it's back to work again. You hold on to it for a little bit but always try to do your best.

"… There's times in seasons gone by where I'm feeling so sorry for myself in games where I can't breathe and I'm hunched over in a heap and I'm not really connecting with those around me and it's the old saying a team of champions won't beat a champion team and I want to be a part of a champion team."